Archive: Author: jim

This week saw the Giant Octopus we remember from the beginning of the season. They led the league in points with a score of 142.3 points – primarily due to an amazing performance from Wide Receivers. Despite the loss of Gronk, OCTO has some great players to pick up the slack.

So that’s it. Regular season complete. Now it’s all about the Bowls. Six teams vying for Bo Bowl (DMPS, BUTT, SHSR, PHSH, NIBB, OCTO) and six teams scrambling to stay out of the toilet (FLUF, AFB, TGIF, ROBO, MEGA, ATOM). I’ll leave the analysis to the Commish in a later post, but this is looking like it’s going to be a crazy few weeks.

Now that everyone has had a full season to show what their team is made of, here are some bonus stats showing how you’ve scored in 2017. And with that, good luck in finals!

The Nibblonians paved the way to the Bo Bowl after a brutal win over The Fluffly Bunnies. They put up a ridiculously high score of 185.1 points, the highest of the season. Just look at the Top Players this week and you’ll see NIBB under each position. This win increases their playoffs odds from 66% to 99%.

And speaking of playoffs, we’re looking at an exciting end to a crazy season. There are 7 teams vying for a slot. Here are their average scores over the past four weeks and their odds of making playoffs:

• Dreadmetal Pumaskulls– 107.1 pts (100%)
• Butthole Surfers – 123.9 pts (100%)
• Shelbyville Shittysauruses – 122.8 pts (99.9%)
• The Nibblonians – 141.1 pts (99%)
• Philadelphia Shenanihads – 105.2 pts (96%)
• The Fluffy Bunnies – 101.5 pts (90%)
• Giant Octopus – 81.7 pts (15%)

Get ready to see some big scores from BUTT, SHSR and NIBB. DMPS, PHSH, FLUF and OCTO need to step up their game if they want to take home that trophy.

This week we also saw a new team steal the Easiest Schedule Award from The Bunnies – the no-longer-humble Pumaskulls. While their match-ups have been the most favorable, their overall points have been strong. A word of warning though as their ceiling is at 118.8 pts (ranked 9th in the league). They’ll need a boom from their players in the next few weeks to avoid a bust.

If you’re still looking to upgrade your team, there may be hope in the QB slot. Three of the top five are free agents waiting to help you make the Bo Bowl or avoid the Toilet Bowl. One week left and it’s on to playoffs!

Week 11 was the week of The Nibblonians. Just look at those awards. They dominated the league putting up a score of 161.1 points – the second highest of the season. To put that in perspective, the average score of the rest of the league this week was 102.9.

This big win shifted the Power Divisions, restoring the balance between Division 1 and Division B. NIBB is now in the top half of the field ranks, booting out Nellis A.F.B. Boomers.

Get ready for Week 12 – these last two weeks will be brutal on the minds and souls of the league, excluding Dreadmetal Pumaskulls and Butthole Surfers (locked in for playoffs). We’ve got 5 teams vying for a spot in the playoff bracket, and the remaining teams trying to avoid a showdown in this year’s Toilet Bowl.

The waiver wire is a barren wasteland. Trades are a thing of the past. It’s just you and the consequences of your questionable tinkering. God speed.

Butthole Surfers blew away the competition again with a score of 141.4 points. That’s 48.3 points above the rest of the league’s Week 9 average. Some of us can only dream of seeing a total that high in 2017. The league average since Week 1 is at a paltry 97.9 points. BUTT’s high scores are keeping them safely at #1 in Division 1.

Division B, on the other hand, saw the lowest score with Giant Octopus’ stinker of 54.4 points. They have the lowest point average for the last 3 weeks, but their strong start has kept them above Shenanihads at the #2 spot. And still in #1 is the Pumaskulls, standing alone with a 7-2 record.

A majority of the teams battled it out in the middle ground, with the closest game being fought between The Nibblonians and Robot Unicorn. ROBO picked up the final few points to win by 2.2. This swapped their division ranks heading into Week 10. The rest of us, however, remain in the same position.

Ready to shake things up this week? Shittysauruses and Pumaskulls continue their search for RBs so propose those trades. Please note, they are apparently looking for “points” so be ready to give what you want to get in return. The waiver wire is still an option with some Free Agents appearing in the top positions this week, but go with your gut.

As usual, get in those Power Rankings and Mailbag questions today. There might be a podcast this week. Maybe.

The Shelbyville Shittysauruses are feeling that good JuJu after putting up the highest score two weeks in a row. They had 2 of the Top 5 overall players this week, and their D/ST did their part leading to a score of 125.9 points. They now contend for the top spot in their division.

Division 1 has a three-way tie for #1 between Butthole Surfers, Shittysauruses and The Fluffy Bunnies. Division B, however, is stagnant with the top three teams holding their place – led by the Pumaskulls, the only team to hold a 6-2 record. Austin will tell you they don’t belong there, but don’t believe him. PUMA just wants some of that fantasy JuJu, too.

The end of Week 8 signals the end of inter-division match ups, so shakeups are inevitable. Any win these next four weeks will not only move you up the ranks, but is guaranteed to do harm to your division opponents. The stakes are high and it’s not going to let up for the rest of the season.

The 2016 champs, Shelbyville Shittysauruses, came back with a vengeance after last week’s stinker. They topped the league with a solid 118.3 points, dominating Giant Octopus on their quest to prove who is the strongest team in the Phillips house.

While the field ranks are shifting, this week saw almost every team retain their standing heading towards playoffs. Of the two teams who did move up, the most notable are the karma-kings, The Fluffy Bunnies. With the 10th lowest score and the least points against, they have managed to top Division 1 with a record of 5-2.

Think your team can dethrone the Bunnies and Butthole Surfers? Get trading because few Free Agents made a mark in the top charts. 6 weeks to go!

Congrats to the Boomers, putting up the highest score this week with 118pts. They can thank the strong performances by their Running Backs- both of which scored in the top 5 overall players.

This moves Boomers up the field ranks, edging out The Nibblonians as the 6th strongest team. Why is that noteworthy? It means we have a new power division – DIVISION B!

We’re also seeing the best teams separate themselves from the pack. Giant Octopus and Butthole Surfers are dominating the competition with over 50 wins against the field. Shenanihads are trying to get into this top tier with 44 wins, but risk sliding down to the lower tier if they can’t get their momentum back. The remainder of the league has some work to do to if they want to top the power charts. Pumaskulls, Shittysauruses and Boomers have 33-36 wins, and the bottom teams have wins in the 20’s.

Do you agree with the numbers or do you trust your gut? Are you the only team holding a 5-1 record but still think your lineup isn’t good enough? Let it be known in your Power Rankings before the podcast tonight!

Week 5 signaled the beginning of the Bye Week Blues, and no one felt it worse than the Shenanihads with 6 players on bye. Despite this setback, they led the league with a score of 128.2 points, crowning them the new king of Division B.

Both divisions are seeing a shake up after some pretty dismal scores – less than half the league broke 100 points. Division 1 has been consolidated to 2 or 3 wins after the defeat of previous high-scorers Butthole Surfers and the Shittysauruses, meaning the top slots here are anyone’s game. Division B’s reigning champ, Giant Octopus, dropped to third and the Pumaskulls are now standing tall in second, tied with the most wins.

If you’re getting hit with byes in Week 6, consider some trades with TGIF. They hold 3 of the 5 top scoring QBs this past week. Or if the waiver wire is your preference, the 3 top scoring Tight Ends are all available as free agents. We can’t all have the luck of The Fluffy Bunnies, so break out that faab and make some moves.